Off Jack

So my organised "Overland Tour" is over and I can't say I'm entirely unhappy. Surprisingly it wasn't spending two months in the company of the same handful of people that was frustrating (I lucked out, the people were, for the most part, ace) it was the whole school trip feel of the thing, being told what to do and when to do it. Not exactly my jar of gherkins. That's not to say I didn't have a great time. I'm still a bit surprised (and maybe disturbed) by the amount I've drunk. It's been like freshers' week, only two months long.

I've been in Quito for a couple of days now and I'm not sure I've made the most of it, so far I've just been saying goodbyes and kinda hoping that they're just "see ya laters" (I mean you, Canadia). We arrived here on the day of the general elections when it's illegal to buy, serve, or consume alcohol, which meant our last night was spent sober - the irony.

So yeah, independence: no more uncomfortable yellow bus, no more faffing and waiting for 12 people to be ready before doing anything, no more mediocre pizza restaurants, no more enforced getting up at 6 and a whole heap less pressure on my poor, poor liver.

Let the next chapter of my adventure begin...

Jungle is Massive

It was when I went over the first set of rapids backwards, without anyone else within sight or earshot that I realised what I was doing might not be wholely safe. But floating down a jungle river in a rubber ring sounded so fun. In retrospect I should have worn suncream, shades and take water. Or else got on the Huck Finn raft like everyone else.

Anyway, I spent the last few days in the Amazon. Or at least a sanitised, gringo-friendly bit of the Amazon. Barely any mosquitoes, didn't see a sloth and didn't even get a little bit kidnapped by blowdart weilding natives. Rubbish.

Did see a shaman. I was hoping it would fulfil all my Fierce Invalid fantasies. In reality I just saw an old man spit on Tash.

Jungle Highlights:
Tom winning $50 off Lana by putting fireants in his pants.
Leafcutter ants carrying Doritos.
Dave the stick insect's bulbous mouth.

When a monkey stole Michael's cake.

Weirdest thing I ate: Ants, straight from a nest.

Most dangerous thing I put on my head: A scorpion spider.

Dondé est Baños

I'm in Baños. It means 'toilet' in Spanish. That appeals to my juvenile mind. The town itself is suitably weird: they make toffee on the street; the first building I saw was an insect museum and the last meal I had had broccoli as a garnish and geometric chips.

Visited Pailon del Diablo yesterday - the Devil's Throat. A local guy told us that it's one of the Top Ten waterfalls in the world (but he would say that, right). I'd not heard of it, but then I think I can only think of five and a half waterfalls (Angel, Iguazu, Niagra, Victoria, Guilfloss, that one in British Guyana - anymore for anymore?), so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Either way it was pretty impressive and made me very wet.

Went canyoning after. I got fairly wet then too. abseilingdownriverstastic.

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Shouts:
James and Rachael - look what you did. Congrats you're gonna be fab parents.

Cuenca, por favor

I'm in Ecuador. It's greener than Peru and there's a whole load more bananas. Which isn't a bad thing. It also seems a lot more like a proper country. The currency's strong (which has been deceptive for the last couple of days, I'm sure that I'll remember that $6 is VERY expensive for a beer soon) and the houses have been finished. Driving through the outskirts of Cuenca yesterday reminded me a bit of Wickford - possibly because it was drizzling.

Anyway I'm in Cuenca, it's Ecuador's third biggest city and (fact fans) home of the Panama hat. Just come out of a hat factory. Turns out Panama hats suit me, but I really couldn't justify $120 for a hat that I'm not going to wear.

Had probably the best steak of my South American travels last night. Which isn't praise I give lightly. Previous top three steaks 1. the restaurant on the hill in El Calafate; 2. the piece of Faye's steak I stole in BA; 3. the one from the heaven and hell restaurant in Cuzco (loses points for being too small).

Thinking about it, I've now been away for three months, so should probably share some generic traveller musings:

Things that have pleased me:

Inca Kola - Peru's premier soft drink. It's the colour of a spirit level and way more tasty.

Ceviche - raw fish and lime juice. How comes it's not come into my life before?

Exotic stuff - Hummingbirds, toucans, pelicans, orchids, hibiscuseseses, cacti all pretty much common place round here

Things that have disappointed me:

Microfibre towels - they might be small and quick drying but they just aren't very good at being towels.

Anti-blister socks - Hot, uncomfortable and I was wearing them the only time i got a blister.

Base layer t-shirts - So. Very. Smelly.

Things that I'm well bored of:

Bus journeys over the nine-hour mark - Yawn. (I have read a lot of books though. Top three since I've been away: Count of Monte Cristo, A Million Little Pieces, The Perks of Becoming a Wallflower)

Launderettes - most of my t-shirts now have pink stitching in; most of my boxers have numbers stapled in; I don't really have any socks left.

Travel journals - I never pretended that I'd keep a journal. I've got this instead so I can force my whitterings on you guys. But really when are you going to read journal entries like "today we got up at 6.30, had a mediocre breakfast, got on a bus at 7 and stayed sat on a bus in an uncomfortable position listening to mediocre dance music for another eleven hours. By the time I got to Pisco (unpleasant) I was grouchy, so went to bed straight after a mediocre paella." It's really not going to be of much interest to anyone. And all I seem to hear are people saying "Can you remember what we did on March 17th? Did we arrive at the necropolis at 2.15 or 3.30?" Who cares?

Life' a beach

I'm camping on a beach again. Which means I've not really got any new stories.

A dead pelican got washed up yesterday. I prodded it with my toe. It had a fish in it's beak and everything. It was big. So was the pelican.

adobe abode

So close to being a palindrome. So very close. Anyway, I saw an adobe palace today. At Chan Chan, the biggest mud town in the world. Bigger than Timbuktu, apparently. Well dirt.

Also went to the Temple of the Moon, which was pretty crazy. It was one of those places out of Apocalypta where they sacrificed warriors to the Gods (in this case the Decapitator; now that's a proper God, not like our touchy-feely, liberal Christian God), so that sated that South Anerican need. They're still archeologying it up and it's massive. And colourful. I reckon that in a few years it could be as big an attraction as Machu Picchu. We shall see.

Staying in Huanchacu at the mo. It's a beach town and it's well out of season. The last two night's we've had to knock on the door of the local nightclub to go drinking. It's amazing what you can get away with with Gringo Gold.

Since I've been here I've mainly been eating seafood. ceviche-tastic.

For the record, my favourite palindrome is "go hang a salami i'm a lasagna hog." Don't pretend you weren't wondering.

A capital city that sounds like an animal...

I tell you what, they do Easter properly here in Lima. Marching bands, parades, road closures, local dignitaries, a whole heap of security. I made doing my Peru challenge proper difficult.

Lima´s great though. It´s like a proper city. All old and stuff. With balconies.

Favourite Lima fact - there's a statue in Plaza San Martin which was supposed to have a crown of flames but because of someone misreading the order it has a crown of llamas.

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Shouts -

Daniel Bond here are your best bits - Wearing the duck at the pirate bar, diving off waterfalls, kissing a toucan, drinking iced mate, "let´s make amends or break the rules", jumping exclamation mark, Death Road, the frogmask and the drunk man, "If I use a stick my Mum will disown me", blue Gatorade, Dead Womans Pass, The Porter switchbacks, Run DMC on the bus, getting battered by waves, pedlo on the Oasis, crashing a sandboard and talking about best bits ... all to Disturbia by Rhianna.

Eviction Night

I'm still on the tour but half the group have left now that we're in Lima. It's all a bit weird, people that I've spent the last month with leaving and knowing I'm probably not going to see them again. It's well Big Brother. It's meant that we've been trying to work out our best bits for the leaving montages.

The last couple of days have been pretty crazy. We went to an oasis in the middle of a desert (I should really have found out which one, it was kind of near Pisco). All palm trees and stuff. It was well oasis. Dan and I got a pedlo; everyone else found that odd. Then we went dune buggying and sand boarding in the desert. Proper fun.

Have you heard of the Ballestas Islands? No, neither have I. They were ace. I saw boobies and penguins and pelicans. And a beach full of seals, they made all kinds of noise, I tell you.

Quite A Big Monkey

In Nasca at the moment to see age old drawings. Saw them last night, (look away now Mum) went up in a tiny, tiny plane made out of plywood and tin cans, I don't see why that would be a silly idea in a Third World Country. The lines were pretty cool. Liked the "astronaut" the best, although I'm always a fan of a massive spirally monkey.

On the way back to the airport the pilot rushed some mountains. I thought Sonia was going to break my shoulder. Or be sick on me.

I've been camping on the beach at Puerta Inka for a couple of days. I'd like to say I made the most of it but the beach had a bar and the bar had Scrabble. What was I going to do? Really? And we just checked; soaped is a word, so there.

Gringo on the Dancefloor

I've been getting up close and personal with condors. They're pretty majestic. Saw them swooping over Colca Canyon yesterday, which was cool, although didn't really demonstrate they're sheer bigness. We'd stopped at an animal sanctuary in the Sacred Valley and snuck into the condor cage there. They're over waist height when they're walking around. Well bigbird.

In Arequipa at the moment. Second biggest city in Peru, don't you know. And no, I'd not heard of it either.

The Tour leader was trying to get everyone to get matching tour t-shirts. We decided we'd rather have t-shirts that we'd ever wear again so formed a splinter group with rather attractive "Gringo on the Dancefloor" tops. Unfortunately, it now means all my clothes are the same as Michael's - what are the chances?