End of a Blog?

Well, I got dared to lick a frog. It was red, I figured it would taste of cherry chapstick. It didn't. I've been vomiting blood ever since. Healthcare in Peru isn't the greatest so I've been airlifted to Miami, I should be back in the UK within 48 hours.

So I guess I'll see you soon.

Well Cliche

Now don't quote me on this but I'm not convinced that the Inca Trail is as "adventure" as it makes out. It was a one day hike (record time - three and a half hours) spread over four days to make it more of an event. And someone else carries most of your stuff. Well unadventure, I tell thee.

That's not to say it wasn't a. tough and b. fun.

Day two was a whole heap of hard work. But ultimately we finished the "day" of hiking in under three hours. By 10.15. That's not a "day" in anyone's reckoning. right?

Day three was supposed to be all cultural and interesting; my fave part was when we joined a porter train and (look away now Mum) sprinted full tilt down a steep rocky hill. It was like the bonus game in Sonic 2. Silly fun.




Day 4 was Machu Picchu day. It's overated. I climbed the bonus mountain, Waimu Picchu, it gave me good views and saw legs.

I'm back in Cuzco now. Cuzco's ace, it's completely not the type of city I was expecting to find in Peru.

Weirdest thing eaten lately - guinea pig. It came to the table complete with teeth and tongue. The vegetarian next to me was less than impressed.

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Shouts:

Donkeyman, Frogman and Pumaman - it was fun doing battle with you.

Titikaka

Yep, it still makes me giggle.

Last night stayed with a host family on an island on the middle of the lake. It meant I had a new mummy for mummyday, which was just as well, because I failed dismally to ring the old one.

Earlier in the day we went to the floating islands. Islands? That people live on? That float? I ask you. It made me feel like Kevin Costner (in Waterworld you peons, I didn't build a baseball stadium for ghosts, or anything. I was dressed as Robin Hood but that's incidental).

I'm in Peru now, which makes it six countries in the two months I've been away. Two months. Cripes.

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Shouts
Happy Mummy Day Mum.

Common-or-Garden Craziness

The last couple of days have been pretty much insane.

I think I left you in Uyuni. I spent the rest of that day posing for photos on the saltflats - you know the photos I mean, right. Where you have the toy dinosaur in the foreground and everyone else a bit away so it looks like you're being chased? Evidentally it's harder to pull off than you'd think.

That evening bumped into someone I lived in halls with. That's someone I've not seen in most of a decade, in a salt mining town (population 15,000) in the middle of Bolivian nowhere. How weird?

I bought some dynamite. That's not something I've ever done before.

And now I'm in La Paz, which is a rip-roaring mental type place. Top three things that are a bit weird:
3. The shoe shine boys where balaclavas and look scary as.
2. They have people dressed up as zebras to tell you off for not using zebra crossings.
1. You can buy llama foetuses fairly easily. And yes, yes I did. I quite like the fact that dynamite isn't the oddest thing I've bought this week.

Went mountain biking on The Death Road today. Ate that up, even the uphill bit that you're supposed to get the bus for. 400 ft drop; schmoreschmundred schmoot schmop. Anyone who says that that's the most dangerous road in the world obviously hasn't been to Melbourne Ave on a grotty Tuesday night.

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Fact: Canadians don't have a name for 'bouncy castle' they call it 'the inflatable thing that you jump up and down on.' To be fair it's not impossible that Tanya was having me on as I was trying to convince her that we call it a 'palace of wind',

The top of the world

I am writing this from about 4000m above sea level. That is higher than any point on the Pyrenees and just a shade under Mount Blanc. Which is pretty high. Spontaneous nose bleeds type high. Not had proper altitude sickness yet, although seem to be out of breath doing just about anything.

Am in Bolivia. It is well poverty. Everyone looks exactly as you would expect a Bolivian to look which means they have a fantastic array of hats. Everything has been pretty dusty since the border. Loads of llamas and Mike has found his perfect donkey, which is a relief to the rest of us.

The road from Salta to the Bolivian border was ridiculous scenic. And it was topped off with some crazy ass sky, with an inexplicable sunshine rainbow. So weird even I took a photo, if this was not the slowest ever internet connection I would upload it.

Mainly been travelling for the last few days. Stopped at Tupiza (small and poor) and Potosi (bigger, still poor, although it used to be rich) and am now in Uyuni where, so far, we have not done much except play in a train graveyard. well tetanus.

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Weirdest food so far - llama pizza.

Ready Salta

I went white water rafting - how very extreme-sport? It was fairly mediocre but then I'm particularly hard to impress. Didn't fall in. Jumped in at the end. Didn't get eaten by piranhas. Job's a good 'un.

Went zip-lining across a canyon too - check me. That was fairly silly. Crossing a 100m ravine on a wire with only a baseball mit as a brake.

Last night I ate the biggest steak I've ever eaten. The size of Wales, no word of a lie.

Just been chilling around town today. It's in the Andes foothills so is all surrounded by mountains (see Dan, some people will talk about them) took a cable car up the nearest one. Didn't get eaten by piranhas.

Best cactus - the one half way up, second from the left.

Power, Corruption and Drives

Back in Argentina after a marathon drive. In Salta and it's almost a sensible temperature. Wearing trainers rather than flip-flops for the first time in a month.

We got our first bit of South American corruption the other day. Our massive yellow bus got pulled over by Da Fuzz and Wes got his wrist slapped fro driving in flip-flops. He managed to avoid a trip to the station by slipping the Police 200,000, which sounds a lot but really isn't.

We'd been running alongside another tour bus for the last two weeks - we left them in Trinidad - see you later Team Frank, it was fun while it lasted.

Pirates, Jesuits and a road called Colon

Strangely the time in Asuncion didn`t turn out to be especially cultural. But I did do karaoke two nights running. And I went to a pirate themed night club, so I feel as though I made the most of my time. Also, I didn`t mention in the last post that the hotel we stayed in was on a road called Colon. I`m still giggling about that. I`m such a child.

In Trinidad now, it`s pretty much in the middle of nowhere. Stopped at the Jesuit ruins at Parque Manantial yesterday, apparently it`s Paraguay`s foremost tourist attraction. It wasn`t quite as touristy as The Redeemer, I`ll tell you that for free.

Parag-Why?

Because it's bonkers.

Dan got 700,000 out of a cash machine yesterday. Really what's the point in a currency like that? Everything here seems to be a bit more South American than what I've seen so far. We seem to be the only gringoes in town and strangers keep taking photos of us.

In Asuncion at the moment. Spent 90,000 on a night out, how decadent? Went to a karaoke bar - I screeeched Ring of Fire at some bemused locals - they loved it (does that count as performing on stage, Pete? I'm cruising through your challenge).

So far the most ridiculous thing I've been bitten by is a toucan.

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Shouts

Pete and Sue - you made a new human all by yourselves - who'd've thought?

Dan and Rach - happy wedding, you wee tinkers.

Treeful of Toucans

I've joined an overland tour. Like a sellout. It's kinda cool though. It's probably the closest I'll ever get to being on Big Brother. Two months in the company of strangers, although I can't vote off the idiots.

Been camping in the middle of nowhere for the past few days. Now I'm in Foz. Went to the Iguazu Falls today. Words probably aren't going to do them justice, so let's just say that they are very big and very wet. Full of nature too. Saw a fistful of butterflies, a treeful of toucans and a whole heap of other walky bobbins.

They're probably worth a visit. Understatementastic.

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Shouts:

Cat: Hope you are liking your new house, lass.