Swine flu for Sealions

Mum's here. That means I should probably be writing in proper English, as opposed to the rather more casual style that I have adopted. We shall see (She has already made me wash behind my ears and has rubbed a piece of mud off my cheek with a licked hankie).

So mum met me in Quito and we mosied on up to the Equator monument (first time in the northern hemisphere for three months, felt like home), it was anticlimatic.

We're now in the Galapagos on a cruiseship. It couldn't be too much more different from the tour that I have just left - There's only a handful of people within ten years of my age (even within 30 years we're still probably in the minority); there's a dress code for dinner (although if Ellen get's her fascist way that's only a matter of time) and when I set up a table of cheese rolls and vegewash in the reception area i was advised that there was steak medallions in the all-you-can-eat buffet.

Getting out here was well masked, apparently they're taking this global pandemic bobbins quite seriously. Even the sealions around the airport were wearing masks.

So I've seen me some wildlife. But they frown upon you playing with it (hippies!). It's taking most of my willpower not to catch a lizard (I reckon it could beat a crab in a straight race but would lose in a fight).

I kicked a turtle in the face (it was self defence - I was sure it was pulling numchuks on me, like a sneaky ninja) but then felt rude, so swam with it a bit (for the record have also swam with sealions and iguanas - people on the boat keep saying they've swam with sharks. Liars).

I've not seen tortoises in the wild yet, but I have just come out of the Darwin Centre and seen 100-year-old giant tortoises doing naughty things. Even Lonesome George was at it, the dirty dog.

Best animal facts:

Sally Lightfoot crabs aren't named after Sally Lightfoot - it's because they "sally forth."

Land iguanas are yellow because they eat yellow flowers.

Bluefooted boobies don't think they have blue feet (or a silly name).